How Can I Manage My Child's Tantrums?

Dealing with tantrums can be challenging, but it's important to remember the following key points:

Tantrums are a sign that your child lacks the tools to handle frustration and anger.
Somatic psychotherapy suggests that movement is an unconscious way of releasing emotions, which is why children often move or act out when upset.
Tantrums are more common before the age of 6, when the prefrontal cortex is still developing. At this stage, children test their autonomy and need clear boundaries.
During a tantrum, a child is not in a state to listen or reason. It’s better to wait until the acute phase has passed before trying to communicate.

Stay calm and avoid raising your voice. Refrain from saying things like “mom or dad are sad with you,” as it can add emotional weight.
If your child is being violent, gently hold them, explaining that you’re doing so because there’s a rule not to hurt others or themselves.
If you’re in public, try to move to a quieter area to reduce their sense of exposure.
Show empathy by getting to your child’s level and calmly let them know you are there, but do not give in to their demands.

Explain that anger and frustration are natural emotions that don’t last forever. Teach your child other ways to express these feelings, such as breathing exercises, “lion breathing” (inhale through the nose and exhale with the tongue sticking out), punching a pillow, dancing to a lively song, or using butterfly breathing technique. Drawing or writing can also be helpful, especially for older children.
Reflect on the situation and try to understand the root cause of the tantrum. Sometimes, changes in family dynamics or school may trigger more frequent outbursts. Work together to develop a strategy for managing these challenging periods.
Reinforce family rules to help children understand boundaries. For example, no hitting, no hurtful language, and no derogatory comments about others. If a rule is broken, stop what you’re doing, address the issue, and explain why the behavior is not acceptable.
Gently explain the differences in responsibilities between parents and children, such as why they can’t unbuckle their seatbelt while the car is moving or why they can’t wear slippers in winter. When children understand the limits set by adults, they are less likely to feel the need to control situations, allowing them to focus on playing and childhood activities